Bridesmaid Ettiquette

Being a Good Bridesmaid

You know the old saying, "Always a Bridesmaid, never a Bride." Most women are going to be in at least three weddings in their lifetime, so get used to it until its your time to shine.

Being asked to be a member of the wedding party is an honor. As an attendant, whether you are a bridesmaid or groomsman, you have been chosen to be a loving, supportive witness to the couple's marriage. So basically while they're celebrating eternal happiness you're trying to make sure your sleeves don't fall down in the middle of the ceremony. You both have two different tasks at hand. The bride wants to make sure everything goes perfect, and the bridesmaids make sure she doesn't see all the imperfections. This is no time to play match maker with the guests, you've got a job to do.

Maid or Matron of Honor

• Helps the bride select the bridesmaids' attire (ensure the bride gets what she wants but that she doesn't order the russian circus as a dress)
• Organizes the bridesmaids' gift to the bride. 
• Makes sure bridesmaids have their attire. (Does it fit? Is it picked up? always have tide-to-go for stains)
• Holds the groom's wedding ring and the bride's bouquet during the ceremony (never actually give the rings to the ring bearer who is usually 5)
• Witnesses the signing of the marriage certificate (all behind the scenes type stuff)
• Stands in the receiving line, if there is one (even if you don't know those poeple you smile and pretend like you do for the couple)
• Helps the bride during the reception (gathering guests for the cake cutting, dancing, the bouquet toss).
• Helps the bride change into her going-away clothes, and takes care of the bride's wedding dress and accessories after the reception. (take them back to your house until shes done honeymooning)

Nice, but optional

• Helps address invitations and place cards. (only if your handwriting is not atrocious)
• Assists in hosting or organizing a pre-wedding party, if the bridesmaids decide to have one. (which they should)

Bridesmaids

• Attend the bridesmaids' luncheon, if there is one. (no one really does luncheons anymore but its more of a toned down bachoelorette party)
• Supervise flower girl(s) and ring bearer(s) if asked. (unless their mom or dad is in the wedding party as well, then youre off the hook)
• Assist the bride at the reception as requested. (basically, look out for everything)
• Participate in activities such as a receiving line and a bouquet toss. (get the party started if it has stopped)
• Contribute to the bridesmaids’ gift to the bride. (self explanatory)

Nice, but optional

• Host a shower, bridesmaids’ luncheon, bachelorette, or other pre-wedding party or get-together.