Confessions of a Part-Time Vegetarian

What is a part-time vegetarian? It's exactly what you think it is. You eat meat, and then you don't eat meat. 

As humans, we like to compartmentalize things into categories. Diets are no different. Vegans are a group (we all know about the vegans), pescatarians are another, vegetarians are their own entity, and so on, but for some reason, it is so hard for the masses to understand that you can be a little bit of all of the above. 

It was exactly two summers ago on the 4th of July when I made this decision to cut meat out of my life. I was at a barbecue, living my best life in my red white and blue bikini, munching down on a hotdog and hamburger simultaneously, as you do on America's birthday. I went home that night, passed out from all the crap I ate and woke up to my stomach in the worst pain I had ever felt. 

I remember thinking, "Yep, this is it. This was my life, I should muster up what strength I have left and write a will." until I drifted off back to sleep. I'm one for the dramatics, what can I say?

I woke up shortly after feeling so nauseous and wanting to throw up anything that was in my stomach and the only image coming to mind, which was making me even more sick to my stomach, was the burger I was eating just hours prior. I decided right then and there that meat and I were not going to coexist anymore.

I cut meat out of my life for about a year. I started eating less meat and more fish. I LOVE fish. No way was I giving up my all you can eat sushi habits. I'm a part-time vegetarian but full-time pescatarian. BOOM. Try to compartmentalize that. Soon after I started getting cravings for Canes chicken. Weird, right? Out of all of the places to crave, I wanted Cane's greasy tenders.

Here's the thing friends, I love meat, but meat does NOT love me.

I've always had an issue with meat but my indigestion situation threw me over the edge and I decided I didn't want to put my body through that pain anymore. My body just doesn't digest meat the way I would like it to, but I still want to eat it. Not all of the time, but more often than a classic vegetarian would allow me to.

How am I a part-time vegetarian?

I'm a part-time vegetarian because I decide when I want to eat meat or when I'm going to say no to it. This can make me sound very hypocritical to my friends. 

Friend: Want a bite of this chicken quesadilla?

Me: No thanks, I'm not eating meat today.

Friend: *probably thinking about how we got siders as appetizers literally last week* Okay.

I just let it drop and move on with my life.

For a while there was an article going around on Facebook about being a vegetarian during the week and then going ham (pun intended) on the weekend with your meats. I think that's totally fair, however, that's not how I run my schedule.

I don't buy meat. I don't buy chicken, deli meat, and Lord knows a steak has never seen the inside of my refrigerator. I don't put myself in harms way HOWEVER, I do eat out a lot. If I'm at a restaurant and my body is craving a burger, or a chicken salad, I'll allow my body to indulge in those cravings. I'll hate myself later for it, but I still like the flavor of meat. 

Knowing that, it's hit or miss. Sometimes the foods will bother me, and sometimes they won't. It's a risk I'm obviously willing to take. I mean would you turn down a burger from Hells Kitchen? Good luck explaining that one to Gordon Ramsey.

This part-time concept can get weird in front of a group of people I don't know all too well though.

I can recall one time I went to a Brazilian steakhouse and everyone there noticed I wasn't skinning meat off the sticks that came around. They asked if I was a vegetarian...

Them: You don't eat meat?

Me: No, but I fully support your eating meat.

Them: Then what do you eat?

Me: *thinks about how I just shoved two pizzas, ice cream, mac 'n' cheese, sandwiches, AND a Pina Colada in at lunch* I enjoy A LOT of salad.

Them: Why don't you eat meat? Is it an animal thing?

Me: It's not that. I love meat. The meat just doesn't like me. It doesn't digest right in my system, so I choose to stay away from it.

It's a lot of information to throw at someone while they're about to indulge in their dinner. 

So this begs the question...

Does being a part-time vegetarian make me a hypocrite?

I think no. I'm not hiding anything. This is just the way I choose diet. One day Ill want meat, the next I won't.

Can I really call myself a vegetarian if I eat meat? Yes, on the days that I am a vegetarian. The same goes for people who do eat meat. If they choose to not eat meat one day (subconsciously or not) does that make them a vegetarian? For the time being, I think yes. 

If you really wanted to get into this you could take this on a meal by meal or snack by snack basis. Let's not be those guys though, aye? 

Unfortunately, I can't say becoming a part-time vegetarian has made me a healthier eater. 

If you follow my Twitter, you'll find I tweet every night what I've had for dinner, and it is usually Triscuits and hummus. I have for sure become a lazier eater though. 

I make salads every day for work, almost religiously. It's easy for me to meal prep and I don't have to think about what I want to make. It's habitual. Eggs and avocado toast for breakfast, salad with some chippys for lunch, and if I don't have Triscuits in the house I'll usually air fry some shrimp and eat up some veggie fried rice. Or make bean tacos. I eat a LOT of bean tacos. 

What do you think? Is calling myself a vegetarian a shame to the diet? Does it really matter? Let's dish below!