An Open Letter To All My Ladies In Butt Cheek Showing Shorts

Dear ladies in the high-waisted shorts with their cheeks hanging out,

Why is this all of a sudden becoming a trend?

First off, I want to apologize in advance because if I see someone walking by and their butt cheeks are hanging out, I am going to stare. Not that it is necessarily a bad stare, but it's more along the lines of "Am I seeing this?" I used to think, man someone should tell her because she obviously doesn't know that half her butt is coming out of her shorts. As time went on, I noticed more and more girls with their cheeks hanging out, and I started to realize that it was done on purpose and I quickly faded out of my "do I see this" stare phase.

The thing is though; I'm not the only one staring... everyone is. Does that bother you? Everyone is walking by and silently judging you, and you still show up in the Starbucks line ordering your green tea latte as if you have a whole outfit on like the rest of us!

Maybe you're in denial and are thinking "I don't have a butt, so nothing is going to fall out." WRONG! Everyone has a little something there, and I'm all for "if you've got it, flaunt it" philosophy, but respect it also.

Your butt cheeks should never go past the hemline (or frayed line) of your shorts.

From the front, you look great! Flawless, a star, a queen!

...but next time turn around in your mirror and check your BEHIND because you might just look like this.

Do you feel a breeze down there? Have you tried pulling your shorts down? Has that camel toe shined through yet? A denim camel toe... that sounds painful... How's that wedgie feeling? It has been about 2 hours, and there's been no movement on your shorts. I'm surprised I can't see your underwear...oh... well that's self-explanatory.

Good talk y'all. Wear what you want, don't let anyone tell you to be anything less than yourself, etc. Cheers to the oddly trendy yet disproportionately long butts taking over the world one pair of shorts at a time. You do you, booboo.